I feel like the journey to expanding our family is constantly evolving and growing. I spent a wonderful morning with a friend and her daughter strawberry picking. It was so fun and the first time that I've ever been. Gus had a great time picking strawberries and putting them into his bucket. In the end, he did really well and we picked just over a pound! He'll be enjoying them for a snack after he wakes from his nap.
On the way home, my friend and I were talking about expanding our families. She and her husband are in the process of discussing if they're ready to start trying for baby #2. She feels like she's not getting any younger, and should start trying sooner than later. He wants to wait until they're more financially ready (you're never financially ready). While they were discussing their plans for the future, she brought up our family.
She told him that at least they can conceive naturally and all they have to pay for is a hospital stay. She said that they're very blessed that they don't have to worry about paying for an adoption. Through our car ride, she was saying that she believes that everything happens for a reason, and the timing is always how God has it planned. Then she said, "Well... except for your case."
It's funny, because my immediate thought was, and I said, "Nope. I agree. Had I been able to conceive, there'd be no Gus in my life and I firmly believe that I am meant to be his mama." It's an amazing place to be... one that has taken a lot of time (and tears) to realize.
I love the relationship that we have with Gus's side of our family. They are our family now too and they've embraced us as openly as we've embraced them.
I pray that should we be blessed with more children through adoption, that we're able to have an open, loving relationship with their side of our family.
I've always wanted a big family. I'm a twin and I've always wanted multiples and my mom's side has twins that run through EVERY generation. Seriously. The joke has always been that I wouldn't have twins, I'd be the one with triplets.
When infertility happened, it was a devastating blow of all the could be's in my life. We've had to realign our thinking and are in a better place today than we've ever been.
We continue to pray that God will lead us to the birth family that we're meant to match with and add into our family orchard. We know there's a birth mother out there somewhere... it's just a matter of time and patience.